July and August were quite a trying time for me. I'll hold my hands up and say that at times I have resembled the screaming Banshee of the deep more than the Zen Mama I like to be. You see I tried to control things and micro manage my kids.
Imagine the scene...... your 3 year old is throwing the mother of all tantrums and your 8 year old is trying to help but is in fact was making it worse. You are already stressed out and are trying to control the situation when you should have just let it resolve itself.
Under normal circumstances I know that if I surrender the situation it will all work out. That my daughter will come out of her tantrum over the fact she has been told to put her coat on and my son will go back to his Jamie Vardy impressions in the garden.
Once I actually realised that this was what I needed to do I said to the Universe/God. 'I surrender! I surrender it all. Show me a better way.'
I took myself out of the situation by going to the bathroom and took a few deep breaths, regrounded myself and put my hand on my heart.
Then I forgave myself. I forgave the way I reacted to the emotive situation, I forgave myself for shouting and not being in control of my own feelings. I forgave myself for mirroring my Daughter's frustrations rather than giving her the support she needed to cope with her intense feelings.
Then I went back into the garden where it had all already been forgotten by my little zen babies who were already playing like nothing had happened.
You see when we surrender, we release. We give our feelings and our lessons to a higher power that can help the healing to take place.
My children show me on a daily basis where I need to heal to become a better person and Mum. They show me how through empathy, compassion and forgiveness we can help one another. It isn't an easy thing to do, but be willing, as willing shows that you are open to what the Universe is going to provide for you.